That’s what I’m missing. “With my whole heart for my whole life” rings in my memory as I remember getting it last year, after my Kundalini experience. “With my whole heart for my whole life.” What does this mean, really? Well, I’m going to take a stab at it.
To love with your whole heart for your whole life is no easy task. It means loving everything about you, FIRST and foremost. It means loving the impatience, the insecurities, the tendencies to overthink. It means loving your overachiever, your actress, the drama queen, and even the wounded inner child. You have to love. And you have to love deeply. And after you find that love for yourself, all bits and pieces of yourself, after you find that deep, deep, inner love, you can begin to love others. You can begin to love your town, your country, even the world…
But I have to learn to love the mundaneness of life. I have to learn to love the feeling of tiredness as I open my eyes to my alarm clock. I have to learn to find moments to love, like wiggling my toes after a Kundalini Yoga session or looking around at the people around me going about their days.
I have to learn to see the world, every day, with new eyes. With fresh eyes. With childlike eyes. Otherwise I’ll get bored, otherwise I’ll tire of the mundaneness of life. Otherwise I’ll continue to seek something that doesn’t exist, something in the future, something bigger, and bigger, and bigger…
But above anything, I have to learn to just love life. That sounds so cliché, but what I mean by that is finding the deepest parts of my being that are grateful to have each breath. My being that is meant to exist because it has goals to achieve and dreams to pursue.
My breath is my most precious attribute. It is healing in its own right, and it is purifying. It promises me life, it heals my heart, it gives me something to return to in times of turmoil or conflict.
I laugh as I think my go-to words, “I am going to be okay.”
No, no. As my best friend said it, “I am going to be more than just okay.”
Life is a gift, and recognizing that is the most healing moment I have had in my life.