For many of my “growing up” years I learned that anger should not be felt, acknowledged, or even recognized in our household. I grew up with an amazing spiritual background and two very grounded, rational parents who saw anger as something that was below them.

But I was so angry. Angry at my life, angry at my parents, angry at the world. But I hated the feeling and so I journaled. A lot. I lost myself in soccer, a sport I still am incredibly passionate about. I laughed through the pain and the rage that filled my very core and learned how to sit with the immense feelings of frustration and an existential longing to go home.

Home to my creator. Because life really is hard here…Life is not a cupcake and it’s definitely not a green tea smoothie. I haven’t really understood clearly what an analogy for life could be, but I feel like trying so here it goes.

Life is like a soccer match. A soccer match in the NCAA Final Four, where you train ALL YEAR round for a fleeting moment of completion as you finish the diving header that brings you to that championship match. You trained ALL YEAR for this feeling, this glimpse of eternity that promises you that if you train EVEN HARDER the next year you could reach an EVEN HIGHER high than the one you feel now.

In life we constantly strive to reach these highs — we discover new experiences that ignite our passions and fuel our soul and then the high ends and we are left yet again — wandering. Wishing. Wanting. Waiting for that next high.

And so it goes.



I am an avid documentary watcher. As in, there’s this new Netflix for Spirituality called Gaia, and I’m obsessed. It’s everything I believe in. The power of attraction, yoga, consciousness, spirituality, just to name a few.

I’ve been watching Gaia along with Oprah’s Soul Sundays, and today I watched Gary Zukav’s (author of Seat of the Soul) conversation with Oprah on Soul Sunday. & I look at these impressive spiritual leaders & their stories & beginnings are all so humble. I mean, Gary was once a sex addict?!?

And then I think, “Wow, you really can become anyone you truly believe you can become. Even from the beginnings of once struggling with addictions…Whether it be to sex, food, alcohol, or even drugs.”

I guess what I’m trying to say is, we look up to these inspirational spiritual leaders who have been so much, and we have the utmost faith in what they are telling us. But I think we forget to remember that they have struggled with their own shadow, their own personality, their own programming.

So today, I am going to manifest abundance for myself. Abundance of love, abundance of energy, and abundance of peace. Because it is in my authentic power (thank you Gary!) to manifest that.

Cheers. 🙂


It’s such a simple word that conveys the highest level of spiritual endowment. To be grateful is to feel love, to dance because you have limbs, to move through spirit and to give without reservation, all while trusting that the universe is taking care of you. Loves you.

Wants you to be joyful. Run without abandon. Breathe in love, freedom, and peace. Exhale fear, stresses, and despair. Sit with the awareness that we are one. One in our hopes and one in our homes. That when we sing, we sing with the unified embrace that we are all here to fulfill the same purpose.

To love, to breathe, and to embrace all emotions, all thoughts, all words, and all beings while holding the awareness that it all serves a Higher Purpose.

Today, I am grateful for the expression of words on a computer that can bring contentment to my soul and fulfillment to my heart. I am grateful for it all. Fear, love, sadness, joy, anger, and peace. It means I am alive.

And to be grateful is to feel alive.


And then I begin to wonder, does anyone feel how I do? That sense of angst, loneliness, despair and suffering that we willingly put ourselves through to grow? The feeling that we could be masking this unhappiness, this depression, this hollow, emptiness with something quick – a quick fix – alcohol, relationships, exercise, or social media. But we know it will only give us that short-term high that we crave…Never leaving us fulfilled but only wanting more.

And so I just sit with the emptiness, the lack, the hollow feeling in my heart, hoping one day for it to be filled with an unconditional love that never leaves. Or I can dream.

Does anyone else feel this way? Has anyone else experienced the short-term fixes, realized they haven’t worked, and decided to just sit with the empty feeling inside?

Or is it just me…Namasté, friends.

P.S. Photo feat. my brother, who got me through a very deep depression.


In order to find out what love is we must first decide what love is not.

In today’s day and world it is common to relive experiences that lead us to moments where we look back and recognize lack of love. Where we think “What-ifs” and “If-onlys” as we watch our soul disappear into the flavor of another obsession.

Food. Exercise. Drinks. More drinks. Texts and IG posts. Likes and follows. A never-ending stream of ego-based consciousness that arises as we seek the next short-term gratifications and run from the emptiness that threatens our very being.

The emptiness, that, would, in fact heal all of humanity. Because in the emptiness is the being. The being that is unconditional love. The being that is unconditional resolve to grow, grow beyond our human desires and grow into the beautiful selves we are meant to become in this incarnation that is life.

Ah, beauty. A word that lives with love. Beautiful, beauty, beauteous. A word that brings intense satisfaction to the mind and pleasure to the soul.

Beauty & love. Two words that I strive to live every day. To embody every day.

What are your words? What satisfies your soul? What bring solace to your aching heart and peace to your mind?

Namaste, friends.


I feel grateful to be alive. I hope you are on your perfect journey. I hope you breathe in ecstasy and breathe out fear. I hope you breathe in peace and relinquish all that you hold dear. I hope you dance with rainbows and lie with unicorns. I hope you remember all you are here to do while also recognizing that we are here to do nothing but love, live, and laugh.

Because sometimes, it is in the cliches, that we find the deepest meanings and our heart’s content.

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